Shizenighte!
by Otijori
Summary: RATED FOR CRAP I MIGHT WRITE. Chris gets sent to the meiji just as Kenshin decides to go to Kyoto. Can he resist the temptation of the Juppongatana, or will he fight kenshin and Sano alongside the TEnken? SEEKING BETAWRITER
1. THis Sucks

A/N: Yo. First fic in a while. You might know me as HFIL, Hiioni, or Chris. This is a self-insertion. Damn I'm typing slow now...wahatever. If you would like to beta, please link one of your fics or a fic you betaed. Till then, READ.

Oh, Shiznighte!

I sighed, tugging my brothers hideous bandanna he forced me to wear off my eyes and into my brown hair as I walked nonchalantly through the new Japanese History Museum in downtown Lexington. (OH, not KN) Walking past a display of Weapons, a line of text engraved on gold plate caught my eye.

"SakaBatou, a reversed blade sword, rarely used, of note due only to its rarity."

'Humph, right' I growled.

CRASH! RIIIIIIIIIIIING!!!!!

The glass of the display shattered, and the alarm sounded. I dived out of the way. The heavy clumping of security boots coming that way told me it was time to split. I doubted that the actual explanation of, ' Gee, Officer, The display case just exploded' would suffice. Seeing a door marked 'Meiji Era', I quickly ducked insideâ€.

And was hit full in the face by a large blunt object. Not used to that amount of pain, I crumpled to the floor, screamed my usual cry of "SHIZNIGHTE" and fainted.

---

"Do you think he'll be all right, Miss Megumi?"

"Yes, he should be fine, but, in the future I would advise against a ' Let's see who can throw my saya the farthest contest"

"Why do you think he carries a-"

I bolted upright. Had I just heard the voice tones of HIMURA KENSHIN?

"Kenshin!!?!!?"

The redheaded man to my left spun to meet my gaze,

"ORO? I don't believe I know you, that I don't"

I couldn't believe my eyes as I looked at the man in his Meiji clothes. There was no mistaking it. This man was my simultaneous most hated and loved character in the hit anime/manga series, RUROUNI KENSHIN.

"HOLY BLOODY SHIZNIGHTE! IT'S THE HITOKIRI BATTOUSAI!!!!"

I then calmly, rationally and thoughtfully, fell off the futon I was on.

"OW! HELL! SHIZE! SHIZENIGHTE!"

I was pulled up and looked straight into the eyes of the Battousai. My eyes glared with hatred. I reached down to my pants pocket to get my One Piece graphic novel in order to thwap the offending Hitokiri with, but found , to my surprise, a Kusari-gama ((AN: A small sickle attached to a chain attached to another handle, ninja-esque.)) hanging from my belt. Only it wasn't my belt. It was a sash on a pair of Shizenighte crazy pants like the Battousai wore, and I wasn't wearing a frickin' shirt under my leather jacket. NOOOO. It can't gimme a shirt and jacket! This time warpy dimensional thingy kept my jacket, but not my shirt!

"Dern frickinfraken flipper jackety not ferkinfrackern shirt." I mumbled.

A cough returned me to the present. It came from the tall, lean man in the doorway.

"Hey, kid. Sorry I hit you, my name's-"

"Sanosuke Sagara. Formerly Zanza. The man in the magenta is Kenshin Himura, formerly the Hitokiri Battousai. The younger one is Yahiko Myojin, successor to the Kamiya Kasshin style, and the lovely lady to my right is Megumi Takani, Right? Where's my bandanna?" I replied, really pissed at whoever spiked my juice this morning and caused this shized-crazy dream.

I searched for a second before finding it, and stood. All mouths were agape. I decided to break more ice by telling my name.

"I'm Christopher Sullinger. If it sounds foreign, it's because I'm American. And apparently, An American assassin who's obviously not very good."

---

I proceeded to find the entrance, and was halfway to the gate when I sensed Battousai. 3 paces behind, speeding up.

Instinct I didn't know I had flooded my body as I spun round, flinging the Kusari-Gama at Himura. He quickly raised his blade and my chain was wrapped around it.

'360 spin! Catch the second handle and whip him with the first one!' A voice in my head screamed. I obeyed, and grinned as a loud thunk was heard. Unfortunately, it was followed by a 'sllsh' as the blade was yanked through my hand to land on the ground ten feet from me. I thought that that was as good a time as any to converse with my 'strategist'.

'WHO THE SHIZENIGHTE ARE YOU!', I screamed into my mind. A soft-spoken Italian-accented voice responded,

'I am your swordsman spirit. I was awakened when you where thrust through into this world. You may call me Antonio'

'And you know how to fight with a Kusari-Gama why?'

'Cause I'm YOUR swordsman spirit. I know over 4 different technical styles of Kusari-Gami fighting, and at least 100 different techniques for each. Think hard'

I did, and instantly my mind was flooded with thousands of images of a tall, blond man wearing only jeans performing Kusari-Gama Techniques. Wowza! Antonio was GOOD!

---

Back to the present. I had since been hauled back to Megumi's futon office thingy and was being tended to.

"SHIZENIGHTE, FOX-WOMAN! I WRITE WITH THAT! I FIGHT WITH THAT! I DO UNMENTIONABLE THINGS WITH THAT! IT'S THE ONLY ONE I GOT, AND YOUR BUTCHERING IT!!!"

I looked at Megumi, breathing heavily. She looked totally serene as she dabbed something on my inch-deep wound.

"This might sting."

YOWEWWWWWWOWWWOWOW! UNDERSTATEMENT! It burnt like Kaoru's rice! It stung like a bee! IT HURT LIKE A SONOFAGUN!

"YOW! Did you have to use that?"

"No."

I grumbled. This sucks.

---

Yay chappy one. Review. Please. It makes me happy and wanting to give toilets made of gold away. I suck at writing, and yes I say Shizenighte that often pronounced (Shizz Night)


	2. When Am I

A/n: Yo. Thanks for my 4 review. I will attempt to update at least twice a week. Well, Yipperdidooda. ON WITH THE 2ND CHAPTER! WHEN AM I?

Oh, Shizenighte!

Chapter 2: When am I?

--Last time—

This Sucks

--Last Time—

I woke up, thrashing out into the air. 'Wow...' he thought 'what a dream. Battousai, Sano, wow. Wait. My HAND!' I quickly brought my hand to my face. No scar...good.

"You know, you really heal well." Megumi said from the door. I started, then resumed composure.

"Oh, shizenighte. I wasn't dreaming. What do you want Megumi?"

"It's morning. Racoon fixed breakfast and Kenshin-"

"Battousai"

"_Kenshin _would like you to join us."

"No thanks. Where's my Kusari-Gama?"

"In Sanosuke's room. Speaking of which, he would also like you to join them."

"And I suppose Yahiko asked me to join them as well....ah, the hell with it. Lead the way, Fox-doctor."

And she did. I followed her into the dining area, and sat. In front of me sat a bowl of rice. I sat down like the rest and proceeded to eat profusely. WHOA! Kaoru's rice tasted like s'mores! Odd, but tasty! I scarfed down the rest of the rice. Sano looked at me like I was insane, and Yahiko's jaw was on the floor. Even Kaoru seemed surprised that I enjoyed her cooking. I decided to skip on my planned phrase of 'more, please' and instead decided to ask exactly when I was.

"Battousai, I've heard that you were planning on heading to Kyoto soon. Are you?"

Everyone tensed visibly, and I relised that I had perfectly guessed when I was. Battousai had not yet decided to go to Kyoto, but has been presented with the choice. I could use this to my advantage

"Well, I have an appointment there in about 10 days. An old friend of mine is meeting me there. Perhaps you know him. Soujiro no Tenken?"

"I can't say I have had the pleasure," Batousai said, though I couldn't be sure he was completely truthfull.

"Well, Miss Kaoru thank you for the delicious meal. Could one of you point me in the direction of Kyoto, I'll find it."

They gave me directions, and I was on my way. This. Was. Kickass!

--

A tad shorter. Sorry. Reveiws are nice.


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